Hello.
It has been a long time since I wrote anything for my blog. I apologize. I have been in a very dark rut and it has been hard to get out of there, just so you all know – it has not been one of where I want to kill myself because I don’t. I have tried new medications, didn’t work. I am now going to be going back to working out and see if that will help, especially since I have gained some weight back with everything that is going on in the world. However, I have done a few other things that should help me if I can just get the motivation to do so, but we all know where my motivation is since I can’t keep my blog updated. Ugh…
I have gotten a new sewing machine and since I have had it, I have only used it once. I have gotten a serger and have only used it a couple of times. I have gotten a Cricut Maker, I have used that many times, I actually like using it. But, and I really hate saying this but, my oldest daughter kills my fun when I’m working on those machines. I have cut fabric for a top that my youngest daughter wants and it has just been sitting by my sewing machine because every time I try to sew something, my oldest thinks that she needs to do some too and then needs me to help her with the most basic things that she should know or she won’t pay attention to her daughter and that is left up to me so she doesn’t get into things that she doesn’t need to be in.
Z, my oldest, thinks that everything I do needs to revolve around her. I hate talking about my kids that way but it is the truth. (And if she is reading this, I’m sorry but it is true). I love my family but sometimes they are the ones that depress me the most. All I want to do any more is run away.
Z gave me a granddaughter a year ago and there have been times that I didn’t want to be around here either, simply because of Z. Little E has been amazing. She makes me smile even when I do not feel like it. It has been amazing watching her grow up, she is so quirky. I love her!
Well, as simple as this post is, it is just the beginning . I am going to push myself to do better and hopefully get out of this rut and talk to you all about it more.