It has been a while since I wrote anything. I have been sick with the flu, thanks to my youngest, she had it first. I’m just glad that that is as far as it went. I have also been busy with work. I know these are just excuses and need to stop with the excuses because then that is all my life will be. But this is all true.
Today is a particularly hard day for me. My adopted mom, Yvonne, it is her birthday today. But I cannot celebrate with her. She passed away about 3 years ago. The day that she passed was the worst day of my life. I cry every year on that day and on her birthday. I make a post on Facebook with how much I love her and how much she is missed. I just wish that she was here because she is the one who I would call when I would have my hard days, days that I just didn’t want to be here. She was my rock. She was my everything. I still have my real mom, but she was raised differently and isn’t as loving as Yvonne was. Yvonne was amazing. She knew just what to say at the right time. She was fun, we always did fun things; shopping, exploring, talking, just everything. Happy birthday Yvonne. I love you and miss you very much.
My birthday was on Saturday and my husband and I spent the entire day together alone. We went down to Branson and just walked around the malls and did a bunch of shopping and just being together. We have not done something like this in a long time. We left the kids at home, they do not like going shopping.
The more I think about it, I really do not feel like I am 36 years old. I was thinking about it today while I was at work and I just do not feel this old. It is amazing how I feel even though each day I get older. Mentally, I feel like I should be a teenager. However, my body tells me otherwise, so many aches and pains, oh the aches and pains. I am always tired, and I hate feeling that way. I have recently started a weight loss challenge that I am hoping will change the way my body feels too. The challenge just started the end of last week, so I really haven’t done much to get started but I need to. I need to get a plan for diet and exercises. I downloaded some apps on my phone for some exercise help, but I don’t know how much they will help.
I hope that this will help me to feel better in more than one way, meaning my depression and anxiety.
—Hilda