I have figured something out. I never sleep. I figured out when my body does go to sleep though and when it goes through its full REM cycle. I only actually get about 1.5 to 3 hours of sleep every night. I have been on a few sleep aids that a couple different doctors have prescribed me, one of them being the famed Ambien. Ambien never did anything for me, it never made me sleepy, so I always questioned how it was so addictive. I’ve tried Melatonin with little success. I have been told about something new that I should try called Valerian Root so I might try to pick some up this weekend and see how that does. I have also done different combinations of essential oils in a diffuser that sometimes do work but the light on my diffuser is annoying, so I need to get a different diffuser. I also might need to try putting some essential oils on my skin to see if that could do the trick, but I have been leery about doing that because of the medications that I am on, I don’t any bad side effects from any of it.
I would like at least one night of good sleep a week, so I am not always walking in a fog. My days are very foggy, and it is very hard to concentrate on anything most especially at work. I have paper work piling up that needs to get filed. But as I have stated before, my boss is amazing, he knows what I am going through so he understands when I don’t get things done right away. I do the important things at work but everything else kind of just sits there until I have the desire to finish everything.
My family suffers when I don’t get enough sleep. I have no desire to cook on days that I don’t sleep so usually on those days it is a fend-for-yourself kind of day or a TV dinner day or on occasion we go to a fast food joint. I really hate those days because I used to cook all the time, different meals. I used to experiment with different recipes, I kind of got tired of all the same old meals that we would always eat so I started looking around and found many new things to try and at became the new norm for the family, that is until I started feeling tired all the time. I really miss those days. My husband even got me a kitchen aid mixer one year for Christmas because I was into baking and that stopped too. That thing hardly ever gets used any more. My kids have gotten used to this side of me and I hate that but something new has come out of it. I have been teaching my kids to cook more. Instead of always doing the fend-for-yourself thing, we find some simple recipes and they do the cooking if it is easy enough for them to handle. Sometimes I must jump in and help, obviously, and I am never too far away, usually at the dining table, in case they need me for something. My Simon really loves to cook.
Sleep eludes me and it is depressing.