There have been so many changes lately that I feel like I’m going to lose my mind. Conversations have been had that have me scared. I don’t know what to do with some of these changes or conversations. I know I need to just move forward but that is not how my mind works.
There has been a conversation about divorce. I know what I need to do to prevent that but my mind and body are not in sync. I do not want a divorce. I love my husband very much. I love my family, even though they are the cause of a lot of my anxiety.
I am going to be Nana again, baby is due the day after my birthday. This should bring me joy but I feel like I’m being pushed out, pushed away. I love my granddaughter very much, she is such a joy in my life. She makes me smile when there is nothing else to smile about.
My mom has decided to move closer. She is currently looking for a job near here. I am glad that my kids and now grand kids will be able to know who she is and hang out with her more. She is staying at Zoe’s apartment until she can find something of her own.
I feel like I’m going to have a mental breakdown. I can’t seem to control my emotions very well. I do not think that my antidepressants are working any more. I’m getting more migraines again. I need to go see my neurologist again but I just don’t think to call and make an appointment at the appropriate time, usually I think about it in the evenings when the office is closed. I do have an appointment with my internist this week, for other things but could also explain a lot of other things.
I have been having weird sensations in my arms and legs for about a month or more. My arms go numb from my shoulder to my hands, it was just the left arm but then my right arm decided it wanted in on the fun. And more recently my left leg wanted to party too. Hopefully the doctor can help me figure out what is going on.